7 Quick Takes, 2/15/14

--- 1 ---

Yesterday was the third anniversary of the worst Valentine's day ever.  A month prior, my wife and I were surprised and overjoyed to be pregnant.  Our first ultrasound appointment (at 8 weeks) was scheduled on 2/14/11 and as it turned out, our baby had died.  It was a blighted ovum--one of those cases where they had no idea what happened, and it would have been impossible to prevent it.  That was a terrible thing to go through, but it brought my wife and I closer than we'd ever been.  We leaned on each other, our love grew, and we have a little intercessor in heaven.  

--- 2 ---

I've read a few Agatha Christie novels lately, and I highly recommend them.  I enjoy her books in general, but since I was a teenager, I've loved her recurring detective Hercule Poirot.  Appointment with Death was pretty good; Murder in Mesopotamia was very clever and kept you guessing until the end; my favorite of the bunch, Murder on the Nile, felt like reading a film noir.  I loved it!  Finally, a little misdirection (slight of pen?) made Peril at End House a great read.  It was yet another that kept me wondering until the final reveal at the end.    

--- 3 ---

For my serious reads, I've been slowly getting through two books.  Hillaire Belloc's The Crusades and Caryll Houselander's Reed of God (about the Blessed Mother).  The virtues of both books are that they're well-written; unfortunately, they're not the kind of books I can pick up for a few minutes before bed.  I have to really concentrate and take at least 15 minutes to read them... I don't think I could be diagnosed with ADD but I often lack discipline when it comes to reading.

The books are great for different reasons.  Belloc tells of the Crusades from a Catholic perspective, which I find very helpful.  The Catholic perspective of that part of history is no where to be found in any secular textbook or history class.  Houselander reflects on the life of Our Lady and... wow.  It's profound, deep, but not overly complex or heady.  I hope to write separate posts about those when I finish them.
  

--- 4 ---

February 11th has double special meaning for me, as it is the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes and the feast of my baptism.  The connection of the two amazes me.  It feels like Jesus and Mary had a plan to make me feel loved and special, and chose things in my life to remind me how much they did love me.  I had a very powerful spiritual experience at Lourdes in college; I married a girl who picked St. Bernadette as her confirmation saint; we named our baby (see #1 above) Bernadette Hope; my grandparents and great-grandparents had a devotion to Lourdes and had a "statue" of the grotto (which included statues of Our Lady and St. Bernadette); in iconography class in the seminary, we wrote icons of Our Lady of Lourdes (at my hopeful suggestion) and my icon is one of my most prized possessions.  And it all started with my baptism!  Thanks be to God!

--- 5 ---

Work has been getting harder lately, and it will only be getting busier in the coming months.  Unfortunately for my stress level--it's become an exercise in mental toughness lately.  Getting greater mental toughness is just like learning humility or patience: IT SUCKS.  There's only one way to learn... 

--- 6 ---

I saw on Facebook that Bill Nye was going to debate a Creation Guy... and I had a hard time caring.  I don't believe in a strictly scientific view of evolution just like I don't believe in a fundamentalist, Protestant view of creationism.  Other Catholic people have written about it, e.g. Jimmy Akin, who writes well about it here.

My problem?  Some folks think Catholics are brainwashed fools, worshipping statues and indulging in superstition.  And some Protestants think we're on the road to perdition for not taking the Bible literally enough (to which I say: John 6).  But the Catholic view on the creation of the world, I think, blends faith and reason.  Being Catholic, I'm absolutely biased... but this seems very reasonable to me:

"Among all the Scriptural texts about creation, the first three chapters of Genesis occupy a unique place. From a literary standpoint these texts may have had diverse sources [This comes from historical-critical exegesis]. The inspired authors have placed them at the beginning of Scripture to express in their solemn language the truths of creation [the "why" rather than exactly "how", in the Church's view] - its origin and its end in God, its order and goodness, the vocation of man, and finally the drama of sin and the hope of salvation [the creation stories in Genesis tell us about ourselves, first and foremost; and those are the more important questions than the origin of the earth... they have to do with salvation]. Read in the light of Christ, within the unity of Sacred Scripture and in the living Tradition of the Church [=Catholics have an authority to turn to in the Magisterium when it comes to tough questions like this, thank the Lord!], these texts remain the principal source for catechesis on the mysteries of the "beginning": creation, fall, and promise of salvation." (CCC #289)   

It's worth reading the surroundings to that paragraph: Catechism #279-302.  

--- 7 ---

2013 was a surprisingly good year for my sports teams.  The 49ers went to the NFC Championship game; the Dodgers went to the NLCS; the Timbers (MLS) went to their conference championship game.  The team that did the worst out of mine was Notre Dame, who had a decent but not wonderful year.  I wonder how 2014 will turn out... one of my teams is overdue to win a championship.  The Niners last won in 1994, the Dodgers and Notre Dame last winning in 1988.  The Timbers have only been in MLS a few years, and I've only been following them for that long.

Jesus, you take prayer requests for sports teams, right?  Please?

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes, Retreat Edition, 2/7/14

In the coming month, I'll be a part of two retreats: one as a participant and one as an adult leader on a confirmation retreat. Here are 7 quick takes on good experiences and/or spiritual lessons from past retreats:

--- 1: Prayer works ---

Life Teen retreat 2005ish: I was a member of the core team at my parish, assisting with the Life Teen program. The high point of any Life Teen retreat was Saturday night, with some sort of prayer/spiritual activity. On this particular retreat, the activity was "Four Corners," where youth would go to core team members individually and asked to be prayed over. I was one of the pray-ers, and a youth came to me as a pray-ee. He asked for a specific intention and I prayed over him the best I knew how. The next day, his intention was granted! I know the Lord probably grimaced at my reaction ("You're surprised that prayer works? Yikes...") but I was taken aback. This guy's prayer answered? Me, an instrument like that? WAY COOL.

--- 2: Benefit of silence ---

Silent retreat as a seminarian, 2004: For some, being silent is a painfully difficult exercise; that wasn't the case for me, being a quiet sort of guy (generally). Still, I learned the value of silence. I really think the amount of peace in our lives depends on the amount of silence we have. Not that we have to become Cistercians to know peace--I don't mean that at all. But distraction can be just as much an obstacle in the spiritual life as sin. Certainly, those two things don't have the same effects on our souls. But how many people today are content with distractions, thinking that God/religion is a waste of time? And how many of us (by 'us' I mean me) give into distractions out of laziness, thus becoming more and more lazy?

--- 3: Expect unexpected blessings ---

Having expectations of a retreat is fine and normal, but don't be crushed if it's not a Mt. Tabor-level experience. Last year as part of a retreat, I went to confession. I made a list of everything and I waited in line... looking forward to unloading my list off my heart. Finally I reached the priest! He'd given a talk earlier, giving me the impression that he would be a good confessor. About halfway through my list he cut me off, talked briefly about one item, and finished the confession. I walked away disappointed. The moral? In hindsight, I think it was to rejoice in what was given me on the retreat (which was still a lot), not that I was due a best-most-awesomest-ever-ultimate experience.

--- 4: Sitting at a teacher's feet ---

There's great value in the spiritual wisdom of others. While I was in the seminary, we had a number of great speakers. We had Christopher West (great passion for his field of study), Fr. Robert Barron (incredible insights), Fr. Robert Spitzer (SO bloomin' smart!), and a host of others. We heard priests from the seminary staff or monastery give talks, thus discovering another side of them. In a small way, I think this is an ecclesiological matter. Not to mention a blessing! We're not meant to journey to Jesus alone--otherwise, He would not have founded His one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church. There is a unity among believers for mutual support and enrichment; what a special relationship we have with our spiritual mentors, especially the clergy. They provide us with spiritual food to deeper unite us with the object of our faith, Our Lord Jesus Christ!

--- 5: Chemistry ---

It's amazing what the chemistry of a group can do for a retreat, both positively and negatively. As a small group leader on youth retreats, I've experienced both. One semester's retreat had our youth group share a larger facility with a second group in the diocese. Things went along just fine in the beginning until a large, group sharing activity. We encouraged the youth to unload their burdens verbally, to the large group. There was also a cross in the middle of the room; anyone could write their burden down, go up, and attach it to the cross. A few minutes into the exercise, one of the teens revealed something deep that was troubling them. The floodgates opened and youth opened up like I'd never seen before or since. Powerful stuff, being emotionally vulnerable! The "spirit" of the retreat was incredible from then on. On the other side of the coin, I've been on retreats where the youth didn't give a ?@#!* about being there. They might have sincerely wanted to get out of the house for a weekend, or hang out with their friends. Maybe something was stirring on the inside... you never know... but on the outside? It was probably as painful for us leaders as it was for the discontented youth.

--- 6: Stormy waters ahead ---

Difficult conversations have been a memorable part of the last few years of my retreating experience. Unfortunately, it hasn't always been a good memory. Sometimes it was a struggling small group discussion (difficult = "you all have a pulse, right? You're not asleep?"), or perhaps frustrating discussions/arguments (difficult = this), and not to be left out, confronting an issue (difficult = "I'm in over my head on this one"). There's also the difficulty in not knowing what to say, not knowing how to get through to some youth, and questioning whether making a fuss about a minor issue is worth it or not. Even on retreats, the cross is ever present in our lives!

--- 7: Cast your nets into the deep ---

Overall, retreats are meant to light a fire in us. God wants us to seek Him more than we do now; to that end, He calls us away with Him into the wilderness. No matter the experience (good or bad), pursue Him. Love Him more, devote yourself more!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Spiritual Advice from a Little, Belgian Detective

I picked up another one of Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot novels, Death on the Nile.  There was a wonderful exchange, full of spiritual wisdom:

[one character shows Poirot a pistol, and muses to him about how she'd like to exact revenge on her enemy] 
Poirot:  Mademoiselle, I beseech you, do not do what you are doing.
Jackie: Leave dear Linnet [i.e. her enemy] alone, you mean?
Poirot: It is deeper than that.  Do not open your heart to evil. ... Because--if you do--evil will come. . . . Yes, very surely evil will come. . . . It will enter in and make its home within you, and after a little while it will no longer be possible to drive it out.

It's reminiscent of James 1:15--"Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth death."

Poirot's entreaty to the young woman in the story is also grounded in everyday, human experience.  The incredible effort needed to break addictions, habitual sins, and weaknesses is, using his words, an attempt to drive evil out of our hearts.  No easy task, and one impossible without grace.

The Perils of Historical Fiction

This is my periodic “wow, I haven’t written on this for a while” post.  Something nice and light to give me a minor sense of accomplishment...

Recently I finished an historical fiction novel called Wine of Satan.  It was written by Laverne Gay, who wrote only one other novel.  It told the story of the life of Bohemond, one of the major figures in the First Crusade.  

I am a fan of historical fiction, but I’ve read a couple duds that cause me to be wary of the genre.  The novel that evoked the strongest reaction from me was set during the high Middle Ages.  Maybe it wasn’t historical fiction as much as just plain fiction, as the story didn’t concern any actual historical figures.  When I finished the book, I was so upset with the ending that I ripped it in a few pieces and threw it away.  Another one, written about the life of Henry V, had me scratching my head at the end.  On one hand, the author included a postscript, noting all the research she did.  On the other hand, I remembered from past history classes things that contradicted the author’s research.  

Perhaps King Henry V is a special case, since much has been written about him.  The Battle of Agincourt in 1415 was fraught with controversy then as well as now.  

Still, with those historical fiction novels, I wish I could go back into my life and reclaim the hours I spent reading them.  The parts I enjoyed were not just eclipsed but gored out of my memory by my frustrations with the books.  

Enter the newest why-do-I-bother-with-this-genre: Wine of Satan.  I have no one to blame but myself; I judged the book by its cover.  It said it was a novel of the First Crusade (hmm, interesting) and it had a cover with knights on horses (cool).  The first half of the book was good, but the second half was terrible.  I hated the ending so much that I’m tempted to burn the book in my backyard.  

My main objections were two of my biggest pet peeves with entertainment (books, TV, movies, plays, etc.):

1) Once the main characters finally went on crusade (halfway through the book), they became very unlikeable.  All of them.  I kept reading, hoping for redemption.  Maybe resolution!  Maybe repentance!  Terrible things are going on?  That happens in real life.  There’s mortal sin all around and the main characters could care less?  That’s a human reaction, not unfamiliar to anybody living today.  Was there any redemption, healing, or anything positive?  NO!  That’s real life sometimes, I understand.  I really do.  When I’m reading something for fun, however, I’m not always looking for how bad life and people can be.  

2) The ending sucked.  It had no resolution for one of the two main characters and it killed off another main character, with little detail behind it.  This happens often in a TV show my wife and I like.  It’s an hour long, and unless the guide notes it as “Part 1 of 2”, you know it will end in one hour.  Just by keeping track of the clock, we know that the episode will wrap up in, for example, the next 5 minutes.  This book was much the same; there were less than 10 pages left and I still hadn’t gotten to the ending... then the death scene came and went in a flash.  The “lack of resolution” scene was similar.  And poof, it ended!  That was it! 

Maybe I’ll give other historical fiction novels a try, but not for a while.  And if anyone is in the mood for a backyard BBQ, let me know... 

Spiritual Lessons from the Book of Revelation, Part 2

(For part 1, click here)

This is a bit delayed, although not quite as delayed as my posts on the Eucharistic-themed stained glass windows at St. Mary's in Mt. Angel.  heh heh...

5) The Book of Revelation chronicles disasters, wars,  and terrifying supernatural events.  Here on earth, we have only a limited perspective... we tend to get locked into fear when bad things happen. Regardless of what happens, we need to have the faith to have a long perspective.  That is: Jesus won.  Evil was conquered, death was destroyed.  The victory is ours!  The catch?  Faith such as that has to be developed.  We can't ignore the spiritual life and expect to waltz through life's difficult times.

6) God's judgment on us will be an assessment of how we've lived and the choices we've made.  From a certain point of view, we have a lot more to do with our judgment than we might think.

7) The imagery in Revelation is fantastical, to say the least.  You're not alone if you find it tough to picture a beast with seven heads and seven diadems... or should I ask if I'm alone?  :)  Still, we can't dismiss the contents of Revelation as a alternating good & bad dream.  Real truths are expressed through the symbolism.

8) Let us not forget that redemption isn't something that happens at the end of the world.  It's not something that's exclusively reserved to the distant future.  God has been and is giving us grace.  Jesus comes to us here and now.  Let us open our souls to Him!

Signs and Wonders, Where for Art Thou?

This morning's first reading, the healing of Naaman the Syrian, raised a question in my mind.  In this story, the prophet Elijah heals Naaman of leprosy; Naaman was understandably ecstatic and vowed to worship no other god than the Lord.  (readings here)

Healing/miracle/mighty deed of God = human conversion.

Where are the healings?  Mighty deeds?  Lord, You know how they can call people's attention to You.   In ages past, great saints did wonderful things; prophets proclaimed your Word and did great deeds through Your grace.  An entire city turned away from sin when You sent Jonah to Ninevah.  Jesus Himself worked miracles as evidence of the veracity of His words.  So many that can't be bothered to turn their eyes toward heaven are the ones that could use a good miracle!

That was my first reaction, at least.  As I pondered the question, a few thoughts came to mind...

1) Also in the readings for Mass today was the story of the ten lepers made clean, and only one returning thank Jesus (Luke 17).  That's a pretty poor rate of return, 10%.  It's a lesson, I think, that miracles don't carry a guarantee that a soul would turn to God.  Why did Jesus heal those lepers?  For their own salvation!  Any and all acts of God, from great to small, are still subject to the free will of mankind.  We can recognize God at work and believe, or we can ignore God.

2) I don't feel any guilt in asking the above question, or feeling that reaction.  I do need to be careful not to turn into a "what have you done for me lately" kind of believer.  Rather than appreciate the long history of God's marvelous works, there's the temptation to turn into a Veruca Salt.  I want a miracle and I want it now!!!

One of the interesting features of Judaism and Christianity is what theologians call the "event character" of the Word.  Remembering in the theological & liturgical sense takes on a greater meaning than the remembrance of a past birthday or a wedding day.  The stories of the Bible, because they come from He Who IS the Word of God, are made present when they're proclaimed in liturgical worship.  This also applies to the Jewish celebration of Passover.  It's not an event from the past; it stretches to the present and the future.  That is, God is constantly working to save His people, just as much now as He did in the days of Moses.

We can't be short-sighted with God.  It's a very human way to think, yes, but God's ways are not our ways  Thank goodness!

3) This sort of question boils down to a bigger picture question, in my mind: how do we fix the Church?  Seems like this comes up a lot, especially among those that want the Church to change Her teachings.

Applied to this matter of miracles, I have the thought that obviously the Church would be in awesome shape if we had more miracles.  That would take care of so many things!  If we just ____  .... if only ____  .... (etc.)

That's a dangerous way to think.  The only solid way to "fix" the Church is to start in our hearts.  This is straight from Fr. Z, not to mention the long tradition of the Church.  Go to confession.  Be holy.  Eradicate sin in your life.  Believe and obey the teachings of the Church.  In other words, the problem isn't out there; it's in here.  Goodness, what would the Church be like if...

4) But hey, there's no harm in asking for miracles if we pray for them in the correct way.  We can't pin our faith on a miracle happening; if we put our faith in anything other than God, we'll inevitably be disappointed.  If we're party to or a witness of any miracles, the two most important things are: giving praise where it's due (=to God) and for the salvation of ourselves and others.

Strive. (Luke 13:23)

My wife and I are nearly three weeks into St. Louis de Montfort's Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary.  So far, it's been very fruitful; I'd like to mention two of the biggest fruits.

The first was something simple my wife said--yet full of impact.  After reading the introduction to the first of four parts of the consecration, she said that she didn't want this to be a devotion where we do it and that nothing changes as a result.

I always want my prayers and devotions to "count" and to be done well... who doesn't?  I know I can be too laid back sometimes when it comes to practicing the faith.  St. Louis' consecration is meant to push us closer, deeper, & further in communion with Our Lord and Our Lady.  There's nothing easy about that pushing; it takes constant effort.

Plus, it's been easy to see how seemingly external things affect my spiritual life.  If I spend an excessive amount of time watching TV or playing a game on my iPad... if I'm lazy at work... if I yell too much while watching football... if I eat too much... and on and on.  Those things don't merely stay on the surface--all of those things echo in our souls.  Praying becomes more difficult as a result, not to mention attention at Mass.

In sum, yes.  Yes, I want to be different at the conclusion of this Marian Consecration.  If I can muster the effort and energy to cooperate with the graces being offered...

The second fruit was a discovery thanks to Fr. Michael Gaitley's book, 33 Days to Morning Glory.  He offers reflections for each day of the consecration, using the writings of St. Louis de Montfort, St. Maximilian Kolbe, Bl. Teresa of Calcutta, and Bl. John Paul the awesome.  For day 16 of the consecration, the reflection was more of an excerpt from one of Mother Teresa's letters.  It was written to the members of her religious community in 1993.  It was incredible!  Please read it.  It's very worth it. 

"Jesus wants me to tell you again, specially in this Holy Week, how much love He has for each one of you – beyond all you can imagine. I worry some of you still have not really met Jesus – one to one – you and Jesus alone. We may spend time in chapel – but have you seen with the eyes of your soul how He looks at you with love? Do you really know the living Jesus – not from books but from being with Him in your heart? Have you heard the loving words He speaks to you? Ask for the grace, He is longing to give it. Until you can hear Jesus in the silence of your own heart, you will not be able to hear Him saying, "I thirst" in the hearts of the poor. Never give up this daily intimate contact with Jesus as the real living person – not just the idea. How can we last even one day without hearing Jesus say, "I love you" – impossible. Our soul needs that as much as the body needs to breathe the air. If not, prayer is dead – meditation only thinking. Jesus wants you each to hear Him – speaking in the silence of your heart."

St. Louis de Montfort, pray for us!