Cologne, 2005

Yesterday I received a book in the mail, one that I ordered just as much for the nostalgia as I did for the price ($3.00!!!):  God's Revolution: World Youth Day and Other Cologne Talks, by Pope Benedict XVI.  I went into the closet in my office to find the dusty accordion file with my World Youth Day mementos.  Unfortunately, the scrapbook that I intended to make is still in said accordion file... so here's a virtual scrapbook.  Or at least a page or two.

What a wonderful trip it was!  I made some great friends that have been an invaluable blessing in my life.  I experienced the universal Church in a unique way and the love of my faith grew.  I'm incredibly grateful to the Lord for the trip!

I traveled with the group from St. Rose Parish from Roseville, CA.  I was a seminarian at the time, and I actually didn't know anyone from the group.  My sister Kristy suggested I give her friend a call at St. Rose, and he welcomed me into their group.  It was a mix of youth, their chaperones, and young adults.

I flew over to Europe ahead of time with the chaplain of the group in the trip of a lifetime--Paris, Lisieux, Rheims, Prague, Vienna, and best of all: the village in Slovakia where my great-grandfather was born.  My good friend Fr. Avram and I saw and experienced not only the glories of Europe (and Czech beer) but holy sites, cathedrals, and the most beautiful stained glass windows I've seen in my life.  

The information guide, hymnal, lanyard, special
Magnificat for English-speaking folks,
and some surprisingly unused meal coupons

That's a post of its own, however; onto my scrapbook of Cologne.

Pope Benedict had just been elected to the papacy months before World Youth Day.  It only happened to coincide with WYD taking place in his homeland.  When the St. Rose group arrived in Cologne, there was a palpable excitement.  The city was teeming with youth.  The trains and train stations were crowded until 9 p.m.; I couldn't remember being around that many people or an event that size.

Just how big was it?  I read that 800,000 people attended Sunday Mass with the Pope; I was surprised the number was so low.  More on that in a minute.

The week leading up to the Papal Mass was packed with lots of activities.  The parishes in Cologne hosted catechetical sessions, with each parish hosting groups of certain languages.  I can't offer much of a review on them, since there must've been a bit of a snafu with our assigned parish.  We arrived at the catechetical session among an oddly large proportion of Italian groups.  Once the program started in Italian, we returned to the hotel for our own catechetical session.

One of the activities later in the week was the arrival of the pope.  He flew into somewhere and got on a boat, and took the boat down the river to Cologne.  We excitedly traveled to the soccer stadium for his reception; turns out the welcoming ceremony was only on the jumbotron at the stadium.  Eh.  Some spontaneous entertainment came about as youth from countries all over the world went down onto the covered field, running around with their country's flag in the air.

My ticket into the pope's audience with seminarians
and our group's assigned place in the field for the Papal Mass

The next highlight for me was a special audience with seminarians.  I obtained a letter from my diocese, saying that I was in good standing, etc.  And I got in!  It took place at a church named St. Pantaleon, in the courtyard.  I met seminarians from Slovakia and ran into other guys from my seminary.  My one regret from the day was focusing too much on taking pictures.  I was in prime position to see the pope as he walked in, and in between taking the picture (a hair too early, I might add) and checking to see how it came out, I completely missed seeing him walk in front of me.

The last thing I want to mention is about the candlelight vigil and the Papal Mass.  We walked for about an hour from the city out to a field big enough to handle a crowd of a million people.  There was music, praying, and Eucharistic adoration during the vigil.  I was taken aback when I stood up from our spot and looked around: in the darkness around me, there were lighted candles as far as I could see.  It was like a sea of light.  At that point, I felt a strong sense of community.  I was not alone!  That feeling continued the next day at the Papal mass: the Church that I was part of and the faith that I professed enveloped me; languages and cultures blended together in a single act of worship.  It was humbling, nourishing, and life-giving and I pray that I'll never forget it.

The St. Rose group ended up becoming my spiritual family for the first two years after I left the seminary.  Last year, I went to the wedding of one of the high school kids in the group.  I grew in so many ways on that World Youth Day trip... the most important one being loving my faith and my Church even more.  I pray that everyone who attended WYD last month will experience the same thing!

Spiritual Lessons from the Book of Revelation, Part I

Somewhat recently I finished an .mp3 series on the Book of Revelation.  The seven-talk series, "Unveiling the Apocalype," was given by Fr. Alfred McBride, OPraem and one of the Catholic Courses.  The imagery in the final book of the Bible is foreign, to say the least.  Seven heads with seven crowns and four horsemen and the dragon?  Well, okay, the symbolism of the dragon is pretty obvious.  The rest of the imagery, however, can be less than obvious... hence my need for a survey of the book.

Rather than go into the decoding of Revelation, I'd rather write about the spiritual lessons that I gained from Fr. McBride's talk series.

1) One of the foundational paradoxes of Christianity is the cross and resurrection.  Suffering and the promise of heaven.  While the two concepts are opposed in human thinking, God has revealed and displayed them to be inseparable.  St. John repeatedly reminds the reader of this, exhorting them to be "faithful unto death," after which believers will be given "the crown of life" (Rev 2:10, letter to the church at Smyrna).  Suffering is a given in life, whether we face violent persecution or not.  Our response to it can lead to heaven!

2) That leads into the second point, something most often forgotten in suffering: Jesus is never absent from His Church, His people.  It's tempting to think that suffering is proof of God's absence; either He is indifferent, is otherwise busy, or does not care.  That's a very understandable human reaction... do any of us like suffering?  We wouldn't let our loved ones suffer if we could avoid it.  So why would God Who IS love (1 John 4:8) let us suffer?  This is something mysterious to us, but Jesus came to teach us and show us the way.  He revealed to us that the way to the Father (=to heaven) is through Him (John 14:6); and in following Jesus, we must take up our cross as He took up His (Luke 9:23).

In the beginning of the book, however, St. John takes this idea deeper: "I John, your brother, who share with you in Jesus the tribulation and the kingdom and the patient endurance..." (1:9).  Jesus cannot be separated from His Church, His beloved Bride!  He has preceded us in suffering: "we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sinning.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb 4:15-16).  If we ever get tempted into thinking that Jesus didn't experience the level of our suffering?  He felt the deep emotional pain of being abandoned and hated by the people he loved so dearly; he felt the physical pain of being tortured and killed in an agonizingly slow manner.  I'd think He could understand our sufferings after going through that...

3) We cannot be indifferent to spiritual warfare.  The war rages whether we act or not; indeed, our inaction is a weapon in the hand of the enemy.  he who has been cast down into the pit (whose name I won't type) is aggressive and seeks humanity's destruction.  St. Peter saw this, warning of a "roaring lion, looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8).  Revelation 12 describes the evil one as coming "down to you in great wrath"; he is not a harmless, red, horned sprite.

4) There are great catastrophes depicted in Revelation, with the four horsemen (ch. 6), seven seals (ch. 6-8), and seven trumpets (ch. 8-10, 11:15ff).  This echoes back to #2 above, why would God let humanity suffer such a fate?  It's important to see these catastrophes as calls to conversion.  It's also important to note that the tribulations are not penned by a capricious God.  Much of these judgments were consequences of sin and of human free will.

Stay tuned for part 2...

7 Quick Takes 7/25/13

For more quick takes, see Jennifer Fulwiler's excellent blog at www.conversiondiary.com.

Ever notice how your tastes change as you age?  Faith, too, changes as time goes on; for me, I guess I assumed this was true but didn't always notice it.  I really notice it now!  I'd be afraid to grade myself on a scale of fervency, but I try to do my best.  As I'm trying to be the best version of myself (make sure to say that with an Australian accent), I'm becoming less and less patient with least-common-denominator Catholicism.  Here are my quick takes along this theme...

1) Bland homilies are more frustrating than anything else, and priests/laity who take liberties with the liturgy make my blood boil.  I didn't notice it as much as I do now, and I'm only partially surprised that it's everywhere.  I do believe we've lost a sense of what's sacred in the Catholic Church over the past fifty years; I think we need to ease ourselves back into solemnity because to go straight up Tridentine would be a shock.  Could we start with using Latin in the Mass parts?  Get better music, too.  Then move to ad orientem.  Then maybe more prayers in Latin.  Bit by bit... 

2) On the more positive side of the coin, a good fruit is that I've been listening more to Catholic radio.  For the past week or so, my drive to and from work has either featured a talk, homily, or podcast in the morning and Catholic Answers Live in the evening.  Catholic Answers Live is on iTunes, they have every show in podcast format... although they don't skip the commercials.  Want a good homily to listen to?  Absolutely check out Fr. Robert Barron (Word on Fire podcast) and Fr. Gary Zerr ("Weekly Sermons from St. Edward Catholic Church - Keizer, OR" podcast).  

3) I just finished one of the Catholic Courses on the Book of Revelation; it was a series of 8 talks/classes given by Fr. Alfred McBride, OPraem.  Highly recommended!  Check it out here.  The Book of Revelation was always intimidating to me; the imagery is very strange to 21st Century American eyes.  Fr. McBride demystifies it, gives the background, and draws good spiritual lessons from the book.  Hopefully it will be a future blog post.

4) Speaking of things traditional and Latin, the William Byrd Festival is coming to Portland next month.    Check out the calendar of events here.  I went to Mass at St. Stephen's last year with my wife; Cantores in Ecclesia sang Byrd's Mass for Four Voices.  I don't know how to describe it other than I was literally overwhelmed with beautiful music.  Had it not been Mass, I would've sat there, drooling, mouth agape, eyes glazed over, being carried away by angelic music.  Maybe that's a little much, since my wife would refuse to go out in public with me if I even approached that kind of behavior.

5) My wife recently finished The Lamb's Supper by Scott Hahn and is in the process of going through Fr. Mitch Pacwa's talk series on the Eucharist.  I'd read/heard both before and after I finished, I wished every Catholic could read that book and listen to that talk series.  No one could complain about Mass being boring after that!  My wife felt the same--and I wondered, why hadn't we heard this when we were younger?  Going through sacramental prep?  Shoot, from the pulpit?

6) The funny thing about getting more immersed in the faith... it only leaves you wanting more.  We've been saying the rosary mostly daily; I've been reading more Scripture; listening to Catholic radio/CDs.  I love a particular sports talk radio show, I download the podcasts nearly every day and listen to them at work.  I used to listen to them on the drive to/from work; now I can't.  It's a funny feeling that, I guess I feel like it's a waste of time.  Almost like I'm cheating myself if I don't listen to something life-giving.

I didn't ever think I'd feel that.  The saints talk about detachment from the world, and here, I can accomplish this eensy bit of detachment!  They fasted, did penance, suffered greatly, and me?  I don't listen to that podcast in the car.  After 34 years... hope I'm further along in another 34 years.  And, I'm not so disciplined that I can't fall out of these habits...

7) Did you know Scott Hahn's website (www.salvationhistory.com) has free Bible studies?  There are outlines/courses as well as talk series on .mp3.  I haven't listened to any yet, but it's exciting to know there's good, free stuff out there.  

Saint Joan of Arc, Flower of France

Sometime while I was in college, there was a brief craze of movies about St. Joan of Arc.  That is, if you count a T.N.T. miniseries starring Leelee Sobieski and a terrible movie starring Milla Jovovich.  The miniseries was decent, and Leelee Sobieski was a pretty good fit for the role.  The movie, called "The Messenger," portrayed St. Joan as a charlatan who invented her visions & voices in order to seek revenge on the violent death of her sister.  I have very little good things to say about it and it angers me that the reputation of such a great saint was defamed.

No matter.  What prompts me to write about St. Joan is a book written by French historian Regine Pernoud.  So much has been written on St. Joan's condemnatory trial--but since that was technically an ecclesiastical trial (however twisted and politically motivated it was), St. Joan had to be "rehabilitated" (as Pernoud calls it) from being a relapsed heretic.  In terms of ink, nobody who writes about St. Joan seems to care about the rehabilitation trial!  Before Pernoud's book, I don't know if there was anything written in English on the subject... only in French.   

Pernoud's The Retrial of Joan of Arc: The Evidence for Her Vindication covers the trial that occurred twenty-five years after her death.  Many witnesses from the trial were still alive, including those that passed judgment on her.  Witnesses from all parts of St. Joan's life were called to testify to her character; her mother, childhood friends, her soldiers, priests, and bishops.  In reading this book, I gained a great appreciation for St. Joan.  She is commonly known for her military exploits, but that's not what made her a saint!

The testimony of the witnesses was overwhelming.  All described her as a kind, thoughtful girl.  She participated in the sacraments as often as she could.  She was widely held to be a good Catholic in word and deed.  

Her time as a soldier was also marked by sanctity.  She held a high standard for herself, but also expected the same for those around her.  Soldiers knew not to take the name of the Lord in vain around her; she chewed out many a man for doing so.  Prostitutes were not allowed in the camps and were literally chased away if they tried to join the camp.  More than one soldier noticed an odd thing about her great chastity: they lost the ability to lust after women when around her.  

We speak in hushed tones, respecting the heck out of mystics like St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, and many others.  Don't forget that St. Joan was a mystic, too!  Her voices and visions were a privilege afforded to very few.  A simple, illiterate farm girl from Domremy, one of the least by worldly standards.  

As St. Joan was tied to the stake and the fire stoked, she cried out to Jesus, begging him for mercy.  One of the bishops present wept openly and bitterly.  One of the English soldiers, who boasted that he'd  personally bring the fuel for her burning, witnessed St. Joan's execution.  He, too, was moved to tears and went to confession immediately after St. Joan's death.  

Let's remember that the Church declared her a saint for possessing a rare quality of holiness--not for being popular, not for being a military hero.  

On Virility

My new job is an incredible source of stress and I'm finding that I'm not as patient of a person as I thought.  Sure, I can be nice when things are easy.  When I'm an overwhelmed ball of anxiety?  Not so much.  Hence maybe some of the bluntness of this post.  (apologies)

Between a book and a movie, I've been really impressed at what masculinity can bring to the practice of faith.  That might sound like a weird thing to say... but in the age of cafeteria Catholicism (believe what you want and discard what you don't want), it's striking at how absent it's been in the Church.  During my seminary years, there was great emphasis on being pastoral and sensitive.  Speak carefully and in couched terms, lest you seem clericalist.  Being pastoral is a very good thing, of course, but I think it was overemphasized.  There is a power and virility to masculinity, and it enriches our faith!  It contributes something unique that femininity can't; just as authentic femininity contributes something to our faith that masculinity never could.

The book was Henri Daniel-Rops' "Paul: Apostle of Nations."  He took the Acts of the Apostles and clues from St. Paul's letters and traced his entire Christian life.  HDR takes the details and uses history and speculation (not in a bad way, I believe) to fill in St. Paul's life.  Fascinating!  What struck me most about St. Paul was his boldness.  Here was a man tough as nails who could speak so eloquently about love (see 1 Cor 13); here was a man who had the guts to preach the Gospel in a public square and the personal touch to connect with families (Acts 16) and individuals (see both letters to Timothy).

The movie was 1963's "The Cardinal."  It was based on a book by Henry Morton Robinson, covering the life of a fictional American priest from WWI to WWII.  I'd read the book previously; although I didn't remember it all that well, I can promise that it was better than the movie.  Fr. Stephen Fermoyle was a priest who was confident in his identity, unwavering in his commitment to the faith, and willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good of those around him.  The actor that played him in the movie had this great deep voice; everything he said exuded strength, whether it was a kind word or a harsh rebuke.

With the examples of St. Paul and the fictitious Fr. Fermoyle, here is a list of the good kind of virility (distinguished from the egotistical, macho kind of virility).  If I had any say in the formation of priests (which I do not), here is what I would ask of them:

1) Be bold in proclaiming the Gospel
2) Love what you do and whom you serve
3) Commit your whole mind, heart, and soul to the faith.  Anything less is not enough.  If you don't believe what you preach, your people won't, either.
4) Carry yourself so that you command respect.  Not demand.  You are a leader and people expect you to lead!  No amount of committees can compensate for a vacuum of leadership.
5) Your words should be worthy of being listened to
6) You are a Father.  Sometimes you need to discipline those in your charge.
7) Be strong and comfortable in your masculinity.

7 Quick Takes - Pentecost!

For more quick takes that were actually submitted on time, see Jennifer Fulwiler's excellent blog at www.conversiondiary.com.

After Mass last week, I realized how little I was in touch with the Holy Spirit.  I've been confirmed, and I do things that involve the Holy Spirit (sacraments, praying in general, etc.) but how much do I really involve the Spirit in my life?  Directly, actively?  A good question to seek... a few related answers (some in the form of more questions) below.

1) I'm reading Henri Daniel-Rops' Saint Paul: Apostle of Nations.  HDR takes the book of Acts and reformats it, so to speak, into a biography of St. Paul.  Little details are filled in, including portraits of the ancient cities Paul visited.  An interesting fact?  Nowhere in Acts does Jesus change Saul's name to Paul.  Saul was his Jewish name, and apparently as was customary in those times, some Jews had Greek names.  Anyway, it's impressive to read the story of the early Church.  The almost reckless abandon with which they dedicated their lives to preaching... the boldness and vitality of the Apostles is inspiring.

2) One point I remember from classes is that the same Holy Spirit that is the Third Person of the Trinity is the same Spirit that opened the eyes of the blind and raised the dead, is the same Spirit promised by Jesus to the Apostles, is the same Spirit that drove the Apostles to the ends of the earth... is the same Spirit that we received in the sacrament of Confirmation.  Say it with me, Keanu:

3)  One of the answers to my beginning question (how do I involve the Holy Spirit more directly in my life?) had a partial answer in a devotional booklet.  Presentation Ministries has a great devotional booklet called "One Bread, One Body."  You can access it here.  What really struck me the other day is this post, which says to dive into the Scriptures to know the Holy Spirit.  One of those obvious points that I often forget.

4) "Veni Creator Spiritus" is a beautiful chant.

5) Another illumination regarding the Holy Spirit was from this morning's Gospel reading.  John 14:26 reads "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you."  Part of the Holy Spirit's function within the Church is to teach.  The learning that we need as Catholics covers a lot of area and isn't confined to theology.  We need to know our faith (see 1 Peter 3:15); we need to learn how to love others; we need to learn to love ourselves and fight the interior battles in developing sanctity and virtue; we need to learn how to be a light to others.  Come, Holy Spirit, and instruct us!

6) & 7) Having a tough time finishing the last two quick takes.  Let's pray for the Church!

Willa Cather's "Shadows on the Rock"

My spiritual director of happy memory, Fr. Jerome Young, loved Cather's Shadows on the Rock.  One of his confreres, Br. Claude the King of the Icon Way, reported that Fr. Jerome read his copy of Shadows so many times that the book fell apart.  He never mentioned it to me in the years that I knew him; I only heard about the book after he passed away.  My wife gave me a copy of the book for my birthday in January, and I finished it a few weeks ago.  What a charming story!

The central characters are Cecile Auclair and her father, Euclide, who live in Quebec at the turn of the 18th Century.  Cecile is a 12 year old girl who helps her father with his apothecary shop and keeps the home.  The book follows Cecile over the course of the year.  The book is thoroughly Catholic but not all the characters are.

Even though those are some details about the story, it seemed like there was something deeper.  What was it really about?  This took some thought and I don't think I've come up with the right answer.  One more remark before I lay out my grand conclusion...

Cecile was the most delightful girl, and she had the ability to make everyone feel special.  She was kind to every townsperson, from the prostitutes to the local Bishop.  She had an incredible personality that radiated out from the pages.  What I realized after reading it was that Fr. Jerome shared that very gift with Cecile.  I had this feeling whenever we met; he made me feel special, like I was his favorite.  He loved me as a friend and a spiritual father.  After he passed away, I talked to many people who encountered him at the Abbey.  Many more people left comments on Facebook.   I found out that I wasn't the only one!  So many people talked as if they were his favorite, too.  I wasn't jealous in the least; if anything, it made me respect him more.  That's a unique gift of loving that he possessed.  Praise the Lord for wonderful people like Fr. Jerome, who are among His most amazing gifts!

Back to the book.  I was sorely tempted to look up Wikipedia or something to find out more on what the book was truly about.  (my procrastination and forgetfulness won the battle there)  Was it simply a story about life on the Canadian frontier?  My best guess was that Cecile represented the Church.  There she was, taking care of an orphan.  There she was, bestowing nothing but love and kindness upon her troubled next-door neighbor.  No matter who it was, she welcomed them.

Perhaps it's a stretch, and Wikipedia may call me nuts.  Thanks to Willa Cather for writing such a wonderful book!