In the coming month, I'll be a part of two retreats: one as a participant and one as an adult leader on a confirmation retreat. Here are 7 quick takes on good experiences and/or spiritual lessons from past retreats:
Life Teen retreat 2005ish: I was a member of the core team at my parish, assisting with the Life Teen program. The high point of any Life Teen retreat was Saturday night, with some sort of prayer/spiritual activity. On this particular retreat, the activity was "Four Corners," where youth would go to core team members individually and asked to be prayed over. I was one of the pray-ers, and a youth came to me as a pray-ee. He asked for a specific intention and I prayed over him the best I knew how. The next day, his intention was granted! I know the Lord probably grimaced at my reaction ("You're surprised that prayer
works? Yikes...") but I was taken aback. This guy's prayer answered? Me, an instrument like that? WAY COOL.
Silent retreat as a seminarian, 2004: For some, being silent is a painfully difficult exercise; that wasn't the case for me, being a quiet sort of guy (generally). Still, I learned the value of silence. I really think the amount of peace in our lives depends on the amount of silence we have. Not that we have to become Cistercians to know peace--I don't mean that at all. But distraction can be just as much an obstacle in the spiritual life as sin. Certainly, those two things don't have the same effects on our souls. But how many people today are content with distractions, thinking that God/religion is a waste of time? And how many of us (by 'us' I mean me) give into distractions out of laziness, thus becoming more and more lazy?
Having expectations of a retreat is fine and normal, but don't be crushed if it's not a Mt. Tabor-level experience. Last year as part of a retreat, I went to confession. I made a list of everything and I waited in line... looking forward to unloading my list off my heart. Finally I reached the priest! He'd given a talk earlier, giving me the impression that he would be a good confessor. About halfway through my list he cut me off, talked briefly about one item, and finished the confession. I walked away disappointed. The moral? In hindsight, I think it was to rejoice in what was given me on the retreat
(which was still a lot), not that I was due a best-most-awesomest-ever-ultimate experience.
There's great value in the spiritual wisdom of others. While I was in the seminary, we had a number of great speakers. We had Christopher West (great passion for his field of study), Fr. Robert Barron (incredible insights), Fr. Robert Spitzer (SO bloomin' smart!), and a host of others. We heard priests from the seminary staff or monastery give talks, thus discovering another side of them. In a small way, I think this is an ecclesiological matter. Not to mention a blessing! We're not meant to journey to Jesus alone--otherwise, He would not have founded His one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church. There is a unity among believers for mutual support and enrichment; what a special relationship we have with our spiritual mentors, especially the clergy. They provide us with spiritual food to deeper unite us with the object of our faith, Our Lord Jesus Christ!
It's amazing what the chemistry of a group can do for a retreat, both positively and negatively. As a small group leader on youth retreats, I've experienced both. One semester's retreat had our youth group share a larger facility with a second group in the diocese. Things went along just fine in the beginning until a large, group sharing activity. We encouraged the youth to unload their burdens verbally, to the large group. There was also a cross in the middle of the room; anyone could write their burden down, go up, and attach it to the cross. A few minutes into the exercise, one of the teens revealed something deep that was troubling them. The floodgates opened and youth opened up like I'd never seen before or since. Powerful stuff, being emotionally vulnerable! The "spirit" of the retreat was incredible from then on.
On the other side of the coin, I've been on retreats where the youth didn't give a ?@#!* about being there. They might have sincerely wanted to get out of the house for a weekend, or hang out with their friends. Maybe something was stirring on the inside... you never know... but on the outside? It was probably as painful for us leaders as it was for the discontented youth.
Difficult conversations have been a memorable part of the last few years of my retreating experience. Unfortunately, it hasn't always been a good memory. Sometimes it was a struggling small group discussion (difficult = "you all have a pulse, right? You're not asleep?"), or perhaps frustrating discussions/arguments (difficult =
this), and not to be left out, confronting an issue (difficult = "I'm in over my head on this one"). There's also the difficulty in not knowing what to say, not knowing how to get through to some youth, and questioning whether making a fuss about a minor issue is worth it or not. Even on retreats, the cross is ever present in our lives!
Overall, retreats are meant to light a fire in us. God wants us to seek Him more than we do now; to that end, He calls us away with Him into the wilderness. No matter the experience (good or bad), pursue Him. Love Him more, devote yourself more!
